The Haaland Effect: Men in Sports Are Changing the Narrative

Image by Christin Noelle on Pexels

I’ll admit, I’m not normally the target audience for the Men’s World Cup. I don’t really care for team sports and am rarely motivated by competition. And yet, I couldn’t help but be drawn into the football this year. Not because of a sudden new-found love of the sport, but because of the players themselves. My Instagram feed has been full of videos of Erling Haaland, the Man City player on Norway’s World Cup team. Never in my life did I think my algorithm would be sending football content my way, but between Haaland’s hilariously unserious Snapchat posts, compilations of his friendship with rival player Jude Bellingham, and the most delightfully terrifying gait I’ve ever seen, I’ve been loving it. And I’m not the only one. It seems women everywhere are loving the “Striking Viking”.

But the question remains, why?

As a ski instructor, I’ve spent the past few years living in ski towns - pretty male-dominated places. As a result, I’ve had periods of time where my friendship group has been me and several guys (although I now run a Girls Shred group to build community and get more women into freestyle skiing). I’m very accustomed to ski bro culture and have observed how male friendship groups interact and the way men influence the culture within a sport.

Sports Culture is Changing - For the better

From football hooliganism to racist chants, homophobic slurs and misogyny, men’s football has been a part of a problem that makes many women, queer people and people of colour feel less safe. Domestic violence increases when England plays, even if they win. Footballers themselves have been charged with sexual assault and still allowed to play. Many women and I have found it hard to separate the sport from the toxic shadow looming over it.

Then steps onto the field a 6’5” Norwegian who, instead of promoting the behaviour frequently associated with footballers, rises above toxic masculinity.

He takes his sport seriously, but not himself; uplifts the women in his life; meditates, and doesn’t rise to the antagonism of rival players, instead treating them as a mildly annoying gnat. Combining all that with his insane goals, I couldn’t help but be hooked.

And then there’s the part that’s most endearing of all. His friendship with rival player Jude Bellingham. Seeing two men at the top of their field in a historically toxic setting, showing each other affection, tenderness and love is so refreshing. I loved watching them put aside their professional rivalry and show up as friends, despite being on opposing teams in the World Cup quarter-finals.

Instagram post showing Haaland and Bellingham hugging

In fact, throughout the World Cup I saw multiple examples of men casting aside expectations, displaying camaraderie and kindness in place of aggression and antagonism. I saw Brazilian players comforting Japanese players after defeating them; French and English players huddling together at the end of their final match; and countless stories of fans from around the world supporting each other. In fact, there were so many positive stories that it helped overshadow the un-sportsmanship-like behaviour shown by Argentina’s team in the final. It made me see men’s football in a whole new light, and I found myself wanting to engage with it.

Matheus Cunha (Brazil) consoling Ao Tanaka after Japan were eliminated from the World Cup.

From Cleated to Heated, Rivalries Are Captivating People’s Hearts

We can’t talk about Haaland and Bellingham’s so-called “Cleated Rivalry” (cleats being the American word for football boots) without mentioning Heated Rivalry. Frankly, I’m obsessed with the show, which follows two rival male hockey players who fall in love, and has become HBO’s highest-performing acquired non-animated debut, with women making up much of its audience.

A large part of the show’s appeal (particularly to women) is the way men are represented. The characters learn to communicate, be vulnerable, and ultimately realise that happiness requires rejecting traditional expectations of masculinity in favour of tenderness, connection and each other.

At a time when figures like Andrew Tate continue to promote increasingly rigid and damaging ideas about masculinity, watching men embrace affection, vulnerability and genuine intimacy - whether romantic or platonic - offers an alternative that many women find deeply hopeful.

That extends beyond the screen. Lead actors Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie have captured the hearts of fans. They have a wonderfully affectionate friendship, openly expressing adoration for each other; celebrate women they value and respect within the industry; and model a secure version of masculinity. Like Haaland and Bellingham, they demonstrate that masculinity and emotion are not mutually exclusive. It’s no surprise that women have fallen in love with them too.

Hudson William’s Instagram post showing photos of him with co-star and friend Connor Storrie and calling him an “exceptional soul”

Are Men in Sports the Answer to the Male Loneliness Crisis?

We hear a lot about the male loneliness epidemic these days - men are feeling more isolated than ever. Women are often scapegoated as the cause for this. Their choice to remain single in order to protect themselves from misogyny and toxic masculinity has been twisted into them “gatekeeping” men’s happiness and ability to form deep, intimate connection - something that, for many straight men, is reserved solely for romantic partners.

But what if the real issue isn’t that men need romantic partnerships with women to reduce loneliness? What if what they’re really lacking is the opportunity to experience deep, emotional connection with other men, platonically? After all, intimacy is not exclusive to romantic settings, and women’s friendships exemplify this. I know in my own life, friendship with women is almost like free therapy. We talk about what’s going on in each other's lives, give advice and a shoulder to cry on, and pass on tips we’ve received from therapists.

In contrast, I’ve seen the way many of my male friends struggle to open up and be vulnerable. I love my guy friends so much, but I genuinely worry about them sometimes. I frequently remind them to check in with each other; ask them what’s going on when one of the group seems down (most of the time they haven’t even noticed anything’s up); and intentionally initiate vulnerable conversations I know won’t happen otherwise.

I’ve had relationships end and spent months worrying that my ex might not have reached out to his friends for support, ending up isolated and in pain. Knowing that I had been the only person who knew what was going on in his life, because I was the only one he had really let in. I’ve desperately wished that the men in my life would learn to be more vulnerable with each other; let themselves be held through pain; talk about the things eating them up inside - their hopes, their worries, their fears.

So for influential men in sports like Haaland and Bellingham, to openly show each other affection is wonderful and inspiring to see, especially with the rise of the manosphere and incel culture. To see men subvert the societal norm simply by being themselves, loving each other openly, even in platonic settings, and speaking about women kindly, really brings me hope.

They prove that men can be soft, kind and tender, without it making them “less of a man”. That they don’t have to kill the gentle parts of themselves to be accepted in society. That they can end the male loneliness epidemic, and in doing so, bridge the widening gap between men and women.

Now more than ever, men need healthy community and platonic intimacy with each other. I’m grateful to see high-profile men sending positive messages of friendship and affection. It’s refreshing, heartwarming and hopeful.

My only wish is to see more of it.