I Hate The Phrase 'Letting The Intrusive Thoughts Win
- Ashika George
- Sep 24
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 2
Imagine you have TikTok open on your phone, your index finger swiping up each video to get those short bursts of dopamine. You land on a TikTok of someone, hesitant at first, but then proceeding to touch a squishy substance on the ground. The text accompanying it says 'letting my intrusive thoughts win'.
For many, this Tiktok may seem nothing out of the ordinary, however those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) may feel disappointed. OCD is a mental health condition characterised by repetitive obsessions and compulsive behaviours to tackle these obsessions. Intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of OCD, manifesting as randomly generated words, images, or even sounds that repeatedly distress an individual. To see the term 'intrusive thoughts' used on social media in a trivialising but dangerous manner is increasing the stigma for those living with the disorder.
My name is Ashika, and I am a freelance journalist with a diagnosis of OCD, who like many also loves to scroll on Tiktok.
I initially noticed the social media trend of ‘intrusive thoughts winning’ as I scrolled through TikTok. Eventually, this trend seemed to catch on across other social platforms, and this style of phrasing that mentions ‘intrusive thoughts’ seemed to embed itself into online culture. Honestly, this ‘trend’ has triggered some of my OCD symptoms to resurface because the last thing I ever want is for the horrific intrusive thoughts in my brain to become real, or ‘win’ as social media phrases it.
What are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are any thought that appears in the mind against the individual’s will. They are not deliberately thought of, and can be polar opposites of our genuine values.
Some examples of intrusive thoughts include:
'What if I use this knife to stab my sibling instead of cutting vegetables?'
'I can only hold my baby niece for a few seconds, otherwise it'll mean I've molested her.'
'I have to count up to exactly 25 or something bad will happen.'
'There are certain areas in the house I need to avoid because what if they're contaminated?'
As intrusive thoughts can be intense, it has been very annoying to see the term be used for silly actions on social media. The fact of thoughts being intrusive is that they are the opposite to an individual's genuine beliefs and values.
As a result, the individual can experience anxiety and perform behaviours called compulsions to try and relieve the brain's throwing of these thoughts.
While some may enjoy the trend stemming from this phrase, those with OCD, like me, may find their disorder demeaned, albeit unintentionally.
What are Compulsive Behaviours?
Compulsions are behaviours which are performed to neutralise intrusive thoughts. These can be physical and/or mental routines.
Some examples of compulsions to neutralise the intrusions I mentioned above may include:
Avoiding knives completely in the kitchen.
Avoiding any contact with children.
Counting from 0 to 25 to feel relief from anxiety.
Following a specific ritual of cleaning surfaces with anti-bacterial wipes and washing hands until everything, including the body, feels clean.
Although relief seems to follow a performed compulsion, it remains short-lived. This causes the OCD cycle to kickstart again and become a repetitive cog in the overall system.
In fact, the compulsions themselves become a harmful component to the individual in the long run.
Intrusive vs. Impulsive Thoughts
The term 'intrusive thoughts' has blended in with the quirky, impulsiveness some of us might have. Impulsive thoughts must be differentiated as unusual but not immoral or illegal ideas in our minds. An example may be jumping in a puddle as it rains on the street.
Impulsive thoughts are likely to be harmless, whereas intrusive thoughts are not. This is key to realising the difference between 'impulsive' and 'intrusive'.
Thinking of my own experiences with 'impulsive' thoughts and actions, I can say I've had them too. While shopping, at times I would get a thought of buying an item that looks fascinating and would be useful, but that I did not really need. I would then quickly grab the item and rush to the till to make the purchase.
After thinking of these examples, at best I find them slightly amusing. Most of the time, I feel no different. With impulsive thoughts, I clearly have no worry over the kinds of thoughts my brain might suggest. I don't feel a spike in anxiety, I don't internally panic and immediately seek to perform any compulsions. In fact, I can feel joy and relief. Buying that cool item from that one store is something I'm glad I did, for example. In contrast, intrusive thoughts spark the pipeline to a set of OCD symptoms.
My personal experience with OCD often begins with an intrusive thought, a moment of fear and anxiety suggested by the brain. The thoughts have the possibility of being some of the most vile and disgusting acts and descriptions. Of course, I don't want to let these thoughts 'win'.
My OCD brain may tell me to take a kitchen knife to stab a family member. But I do not want to hurt a loved one standing near me with a knife, or any weapon for that matter.
My OCD brain might suggest that every surface I haven’t personally cleaned is contaminated. I do not want to use anti-bacterial wipes to clean every surface in my room, multiple times a day.
None of this aligns with the amusement and quirkiness of impulsive thoughts.
Social Media and OCD
As someone who engages with social media regularly, I will inevitably land on content that propagates the phrase 'letting the intrusive thoughts win'. Any time I do, I feel my heart sink a centimetre and a tinge of disappointment ensues. Sometimes, I find myself feeling guilty for even experiencing that.
Most people using and repeating the phrase don't know any better because, sadly, OCD is not fully understood among the majority of users. I don't want to place blame on anyone either. If I peruse the comments section, I automatically search for anyone clarifying the phrase's incorrect usage and bringing awareness to OCD. However, the disappointment continues when replies consist of people defending the phrase and dismissing the concerns from OCD sufferers.
The bottom line is, 'letting the intrusive thoughts win' is a digital method of harm towards us with OCD. Any individual partaking in the online trend is most likely unaware of what they're contributing to. They don't know how mentally troubling and exhausting intrusive thoughts actually are. How painful it is when it prohibits me from getting out of bed due to anxiety followed by depression. How I keep washing my hands until they become red, sore, cracked and bleeding. How I keep thinking that maybe I'm just a terrible person simply for getting these thoughts.
Since it is so prominent in our lives today, social media can be used as an educational platform, helping users understand why using ‘intrusive’ to describe impulsive thoughts can be upsetting for OCD sufferers. It can also help switch users to more appropriate terminology to apply to this trend of filming silly and random actions. But it would need to gain traction amongst users.
Thankfully, more and more OCD content creators are using trending audios and filming styles to share facts about the condition and its symptoms, which helps prompt discussion in the comments. Progress is at least being made and I can see opportunities to educate others more about intrusive thoughts, what they actually are, and the emotions and feelings they can evoke.
Because the bottom line is those with OCD would never let their intrusive thoughts win. They cannot win.
This article has been sponsored by the Psychiatry Research Trust, who are dedicated to supporting young scientists in their groundbreaking research efforts within the field of mental health. If you wish to support their work, please consider donating.
