Why Heartbreak Feels Physical: The Chemistry of a Broken Heart
- Erin Collins
- 3 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Heartbreak is a common experience, often understood as a time of emotional crisis which can be resolved with feeling-based healing. Some typical advice you may have heard (or given) is: “the feeling will pass, you’ll get over it”, or “sit with your emotions”. But this advice feeds into the stigma that heartbreak is solely an emotional experience and pays no mind to all the physiological impacts.
I am a student on the MSc Psychology and Neuroscience of Mind-Body Interface. In this article, I will explain how the body is impacted during experiences of heartbreak, specifically regarding neurotransmitters (the chemical messengers in your brain). This may help explain some of your post-breakup behaviours and remind you that healing from heartbreak is more complex than just your emotions. Seeking support, whether that be formal, informal or clinical, is okay.
But Heartbreak is an Emotional Crisis?
If we reflect on the stereotypical heartbreak scene, we see the heartbroken individual in bed with tissues, crying into ice cream whilst watching the Notebook. But in the real world, not all people deal with heartbreak this way. Some people have no tears or outward sense of sadness. No one should feel abnormal or guilty for not following the “heartbreak script”. Your emotions may not align with the movies, but just know your physiology is ‘heartbroken’.
Heartbreak symptoms occur along a spectrum; it is an individualistic experience comprised of both emotional and physiological components. In extreme cases, heartbreak can even cause physical conditions such as stress-induced cardiomyopathy, also known as broken heart syndrome. This is a condition where the heart muscle becomes weakened and can be fatal. However, broken heart syndrome seems to be the only well-known physical association with heartbreak. To cope with and heal from heartbreak, it is important to understand how the body reacts physiologically.
But before we continue, let’s emphasise that heartbreak isn’t just romantic. Romance isn’t the pinnacle of everyone’s life; heartbreak can also result from grief, family issues, or strained friendships.
The dopamine binding trap in heartbreak
The neurotransmitter system, which involves the happy feel-good hormone (dopamine), is (understandably) disrupted during heartbreak. Disruption in dopamine levels can impact mood and cause a reduction in motivation, sometimes triggering depression.
So, what is actually happening during heartbreak?
When we are in love, our brain associates the other person with feelings of comfort and reward, which triggers the release of dopamine. When relationships end, and the feeling of being heartbroken creeps in, the sudden loss of reward causes dopamine levels to be unstable.
In the immediate stages of heartbreak, the instability of dopamine causes its levels to dramatically increase and decrease. Interestingly, this change in your dopamine system may help explain why you feel the urge to text your ex or check their social media after a break-up. When memories of the person trigger dopamine release, your brain starts linking that dopamine ‘hit’ with them. Over time, this can create a pattern of reinforcement which maintains your sense of attachment to them. The dopamine release keeps you feeling attached to the person and that motivates the desire to check in on them or gain access to them.
So, to heal from heartbreak, it could be useful to remove anything that might trigger memories of the other person, to avoid this dopamine release cycle. This could be getting rid of (or even hiding) anything that triggers memories: text chains, photos, jewellery, clothes, anything! Maybe going into no contact might be the best thing for your physiology and emotional well-being.
Regulation of the dopamine system is crucial for healing; if you feel ready to move on and form new romantic attachments, regulation of dopamine function is a necessity.
Cortisol’s helpful (and unhelpful) contributions during heartbreak
The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis is a system which releases cortisol. Cortisol is known as the ‘stress hormone’, so we can think of the HPA axis as a stress alarm, and when heartbreak hits, the alarm sounds and cortisol flows!
When heartbreak, or any psychological stressor, activates this axis, the first part to respond is the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is a region in the brain which is responsible for hormonal control. It releases Corticotropin Releasing Hormone (CRH), the first stress signal, which then triggers the pituitary gland to release adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). ACTH is the second stress signal, which travels through the bloodstream to tell the adrenal cortex to cope with heartbreak.
The release of cortisol allows the body to mobilise energy to respond to stress. This increase in cortisol is essential and works to provide us with resources to cope with heartbreak.
Despite the HPA axis working to support us in the initial phases of heartbreak, it is well known that heartbreak does not typically resolve itself overnight. The HPA axis tends to be chronically active for a prolonged period, which can cause mental and physical health complications to occur, such as appetite changes, cognitive difficulties, sleep disturbances and even reduce the immune system’s ability to fight off infections and diseases. Overall, prolonged production of cortisol “holds us” in the depths of heartbreak, contributing to many symptoms which affect daily functioning.
Why is mood regulation so much harder during heartbreak
Another key system affected by heartbreak is the serotonin system, which plays a key role in mood regulation and contributes to emotional wellbeing. During heartbreak, dramatic adjustments to the serotonin system make feeling calm, balanced and in control much harder.
Serotonin levels drop during heartbreak, causing mood swings and a lack of impulse control. Dysfunction in the production of serotonin is associated with a variety of mental and physical symptoms including sleep disturbances, cognitive difficulties, depression and anxiety. This can make the process deeply confusing; though heartbreak is the time you wish to regulate and understand your mood, it’s also the time where your own neurobiology is working against you!
Good news is, this disruption is not permanent. When your serotonin levels return to normal, mood regulation becomes easier, and many people notice improvements: mornings where you feel like yourself again, can think more clearly, and experience moments of peace within your emotions.
Final reminder to all
The reason I wrote this article is to bring attention to the physiological impacts of heartbreak, but also to remind you all that getting help is okay. Please reach out to friends, family members, loved ones, and if necessary, your GP. The neurotransmitter systems discussed in this article provide some insight into the physiological impacts of heartbreak. If you have had appetite changes, sleep disturbances, anxiety, cognitive difficulties, sickness or feelings of depression, it may be due to contributions of the body in reaction to this emotional shift. The biggest take-home message of this article is do not underestimate how your body reacts to what your mind is having to process and to reach out for help if you need it. The mind and body are connected in many ways and heartbreak is not exempt from this.
