Working From Home Is The Best (And The Worst)
- Caitlin McAllister
- Jul 9
- 5 min read
Before Covid forced many of us into pyjamas and endless Zoom calls, I was already working remotely and had been since 2017. In fact, I ran a successful blog about it and felt confident telling people how to manage their freelance time and stay productive at home. The problem was, over time, my social skills were taking a nosedive. Back then I had no idea what working from home so often was doing to me, but slowly, it was chipping away at my confidence and my ability to be around other people with ease. I recently moved abroad with my husband, and have become determined not to recreate the same isolated life I was living in London.
Freelance = Freedom
‘Freelance’ has been part of my identity for a long time. Whether I’m working in a cafe, a co-working space, travelling abroad or in my living room, being completely unattached to anyone else’s schedule has given me a sense of freedom that I cherish.
Before this, I was working in a busy startup and eventually burned out (a tale as old as time). After that experience, I didn’t hesitate to become self-employed so I could make my own hours and add the word ‘freelance’ to my email signature. Suddenly, I was able to prioritise my wellbeing and life goals, and finally booked some of the travel experiences I had daydreamed about for so long.
In my first year of self-employment, I took an incredible 3-month trip around Central America to have my own Eat Pray Love moment. Upon my return, I felt ready to get stuck into my business, but going from working on my laptop in the Costa Rican rainforest and on a beach in Belize, to sitting in my living room, felt rather boring.
Still, I wanted to start taking my business more seriously, and for me, that meant being at a desk from 9 ‘til 5. I set a solid schedule for myself, started a blog writing about freelance life, and attended networking events hungry to make new connections. I regularly met with a freelance friend to work together and keep each other accountable.
Bad Habits Crept In
Like a frog in boiling water, I’m unsure when I realised I was becoming socially anxious. At some point, I let bad habits take hold; I regularly worked in pyjamas at my desk and avoided leaving home, which meant some days I wasn’t speaking to another human being until my boyfriend, now husband, came home after work. I would be unproductive during the day and find myself cancelling social plans to pick up the slack in the evening or at weekends.
Eventually, the idea of working in a café became less and less appealing. My knee-jerk reaction was to assume I could be more efficient and productive if I skipped the commute and spent that time working instead. Was I completely isolated during those years? No. I attended many social events that I couldn’t (or felt I shouldn’t) get out of, and I always had fun. And did I show up to gatherings a nervous wreck every time? No. If you met me during those years, I’m not sure I would have come across as anything other than slightly awkward.
Locked Down
And then… Covid. Just like that, working from home became the norm for the entire country, and suddenly I was in good company. By the time the pandemic happened, I had already realised my negative mindset shift, but it felt too late to do anything about it. Like everyone else, I embraced the life of a hermit crab.
I was certainly ahead of the curve when it came to work from home (WFH) content; I had been working on a digital platform for WFH freelancers, which provided a space to network virtually, and I had also half-written an eBook about how to effectively work from home. Now would have been the perfect time to launch both, and yet something didn’t feel right. Writing about the joys of freelance life no longer felt genuine. If I were honest with myself, this lifestyle had led me down a socially anxious path that I didn’t want to glamorise.
So, I scrapped the new website, hurriedly finished the book (not my finest work), released it, and gave all the proceeds to the Trussell Trust food bank project. Mentally, I was done with working from home, but physically, I would still be stuck doing it until the pandemic was over.
At some point during those Covid years, restrictions lifted, and I decided enough was enough. Many of my friends had left London during the pandemic, so I joined a book club and began forcing myself to meet people, whether I liked it or not. I created a small writing group, and although my brain constantly screamed “online is easier!” I persevered and organised in-person sessions as often as I could to spend time with real, 3D people.
Somehow, though, I found myself slipping back into bad habits. My savings had taken a hit, so working non-stop seemed like the best way to get back on track financially. Much like last time, I became anxious to do almost anything that involved being outside of my own home.
New Continent, New Me
Two years ago, my husband and I got married and decided to move to the US for a fresh start. What followed was two years of selling our belongings, planning a wedding, moving in with parents, going through stressful visa admin, and spending several months living apart on different continents. As a result, my mental health took another hit, but this time, in a different way. When it finally came time to join my husband in the US, I knew I had to be more mindful and intentional about remote work to avoid repeating the bad habits I had developed before.
Today, I leave the house and speak to another person at least once every day. I try to drive somewhere every 2 days to expand my bubble and work in places other than just the bagel shop next door (as tempting as the bagels are). I go to the gym three times a week, and work in the communal area of my apartment complex. I joined a book club, and I do weekly line dancing classes. I can confirm that wearing cowboy boots and embarrassing yourself in front of strangers once a week is a great way to boost your self-confidence.
Looking at my life now, it’s hard to see how I ever let myself become so isolated. For me, social anxiety crept in slowly and grew roots, so don’t let those roots take hold for you. Stay curious about your social skills and set rules for yourself to interact with others as often as you can – even if you don’t think working solo is affecting you.
After years of writing about working from home, I now know that the most important thing I could have done was to shut my laptop more often and maintain real, in-person connections with those around me. So, the next time you feel the urge to stay inside those same four walls, embrace discomfort and join the world. You won’t regret it.
