The Solution to Cringe Culture is Autism

'To cringe' can be defined as ‘having an inward feeling of acute embarrassment or awkwardness.’ This is a perfectly natural human reaction to seeing, hearing or touching something that makes us uncomfortable. I myself devolve into full-body shudders at the idea of touching certain fabrics such as velvet or sandpaper. However, nowadays, almost everything we do as people has been deemed 'cringe'.

The word 'cringe' has been weaponised.

If we, as individuals, are too interested in something or show curiosity towards anything that is deemed beyond the narrow walls of 'ordinary', we are labelled 'cringey'. Being subjected to such constant judgment is damaging. In a time when we are already so consumed with how we are perceived, succumbing to 'cringe culture' puts us at risk of becoming insular, closed off, and mere shells of the lively and unique beings we are meant to be.

'Cringe culture' often begins with small comments. But, the accumulation of such attitudes can lead to damaging rhetorics becoming popularised.

For example, language that fuels toxic-masculinity combined with homophobic rhetoric can lead to men avoiding doing certain things simply because they fear being labelled ‘effeminate’ or ‘gay'. Conversely, if we partake in mainstream hobbies or trends we risk being labelled as 'basic' or 'cheugy' (out of date, uncool, or trying too hard to be trendy). Essentially, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't - if you stray too far from societal and gender norms you risk being labelled 'weird', but if you conform too much you are boring, unoriginal and just like everyone else.

I would like to suggest a solution to this problem, and it is shockingly simple. Follow in the footsteps of people with autism, and stop caring.

I recall a time when I was still in Primary School, my family took a trip down to Kingston Lacey. I noticed that, in one room, a series of pictures, possibly portraits, were out of order in terms of the historical timeline I knew they had been created in. I asked a staff member why that was, and they explained it was because of the space on the wall. Later on, impressed by my extensive knowledge of art history they asked my mum if I was studying it at GCSE level. Again, I was in primary school.

Photo by Dimitry Kropachev on Unsplash

Hearing this story now gives me a considerable dopamine rush. Someone thought I was a child genius, all because I knew history. At that time, I didn’t know I was autistic. However, what I did know was that I could pull history facts out of thin air. The feeling of being acknowledged and rewarded for something that others might consider ‘outside the norm’ or ‘cringe’ felt like winning an Olympic medal.

Autistic folks tend to communicate with those around them and show affection in different ways to most people. For example by body doubling/parallel play (being alone together), penguin pebbling (sharing small, meaningful things), support swapping (offering help with tasks or challenges), deep pressure (providing firm, even, and sustained pressure) and info-dumping (which is my personal favourite) and the one most relevant to what I’m trying to say.

For autistic folks, we love showing off our knowledge, putting great value in our intelligence and ability to memorise what we find out. However, many have been conditioned to tamp down on these aspects of their personalities so that they can ‘fit in’ to modern society. This masking (hiding natural behaviors to fit in socially, and appear 'neurotypical') can lead to immense amounts of emotional, mental and even physical stress.

Despite being harassed, interrogated and mocked by many of my pears for my atypical mannerisms and habits, I spent the majority of my formative years unaware I was autistic. The vitriol I received did not deter me and I gladly indulged in my own interests, and by the age of 16 I can say with some confidence that I had read more books in the school library than the rest of my year. I could summarise characters, themes and plots at the drop of a hat, simply because I didn’t care about what others thought.

My books, these stories, were my escape, a passport into a new world where I could find friends, comrades even, and I was going to commit them to memory whether my peers liked or not. I have continued to unabashedly enjoy my hobbies and whenever I go to one of my favourite bookstores, one of my habits is to offer recommendations for others. This helps especially with younger children whose parents may be clueless about the various genres, as well as what may be appropriate for their child’s age. More often than not, the inexperienced parents have been elated with the suggestions I’ve given them.

Photo by Natasha Anderson on Unsplash

So, I offer this advice, let people develop hyper-fixations (I don’t want to say obsessions because of the negative connotations with the word) and let people love what they love and whenever someone tells you that something you like is immature or ‘cringe’, ask them "why?".  

Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the things you enjoy, gush about it to your hearts content and, better yet, listen when others do the same. Looking back, I often wish that I had confronted my tormentors with the simple desire to understand how or why what I had done was wrong in their eyes.

This isn’t to suggest that we should completely let ourselves go and indulge in our every desire. Given this chance, I’d never leave the house and would be found buried under an avalanche of books, a very real possibility given the enormity of my ‘To Be Read’ pile - ask anyone. But, if you see something that you like, such as a doll or a Lego set, get it. If you want to wander through an exhibit that was previously closed off to you, do it. Enjoy yourself, let go of the fear of being ‘cringy.’

Would you rather ignore the eyes of judgemental strangers and be happy, or stuff yourself into a box and appear to fit in. You lose so much by restricting yourself to what might be socially acceptable. The uncertainty of not knowing what is or is not going to get you ridiculed will keep you on a razor-thin line.

‘Cringe culture’ has stripped us of our ability to enjoy what we love. The constant need to perform, to appear as presentable as possible, prevents us from showing our true authentic selves. This, in my opinion, is the greatest crime that can be committed against oneself. To deny yourself the reality of who you are, of what you like or what interests you, is to deny that you are a human being.

Without interests, hobbies, curiosities, likes or dislikes, then you can’t be a person. You’d only be a face in a crowd of identical other masks. If history has taught me anything, it is that when one person raises their voice, raises their words, they can change the world. You don’t need the approval of everyone, just of the people who matter.

So, go enjoy that karaoke, that weird food, that obscure hobby. Life is too short for us to be worrying about what other people may think, and I like to think that life would be far more colourful if we all let go of fear of judgement.

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This article has been sponsored by the Psychiatry Research Trust, who are dedicated to supporting young scientists in their groundbreaking research efforts within the field of mental health. If you wish to support their work, please consider donating. 

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